3. Find balance
It’s one thing to adopt methods to deal with self-induced stress. It’s another thing to handle externally imposed stress.
The most common example of such a source will be your parent.
The obvious solution would be to talk to your parents about any unrealistic expectations they might have for you.
Of course that never always works. So here comes my conceived theory of balancing.
Technically, I have never had any need for it myself because my parents aren’t the demanding type. But it should work in theory.
If your parents expectations can’t change, then change your lifestyle. If you’re doing all the studying your parents expect, yet can’t get that unrealistic grade, well, not much they can say.
Haha. Right… Parents aren’t as clear cut as that. They always demand more, thinking that their kid should be sitting in front of a book all day. So here comes the act of ‘creating a new balance’, or really a nicer way to say compromise. Find the activities you really want to do, and promise your parents that in exchange for them giving permission for you to do those things, you will promise to spend your time doing whatever they want you to do.
But again, not very exhaustive. There are so many different circumstances, that one method can’t tackle it all.
However, I think it’s important to note how externally-imposed stress can fuel self-induced stress. For example, while your parents will demand highly of you, you won’t necessarily get stressed out by that, because if you simply can’t meet their demands but do your very best, then there’s nothing to get stressed out about. The problem arises when the expectations of your parents become your expectations, not necessarily expectations of a specific grade but that you feel expected to fulfill their wishes.
Of course again that doesn’t necessarily hold true. Sometimes you just need to be patient. I believe that no loving parent would intentionally stress out their kid, it’s most likely out of ignorance. And this is no excuse for you to not fulfill your obligation to them either. If you’re always out partying or something, then you’re to blame.
4. Adopt the vertical approach
After all that blah-blah-ing above, how do I personally handle my life with regard to this? That I just seem to avoid stress totally?
Well, some part of it is due to the fact that I’m smart, which means that I seldom have trouble studying, but then again smart people do get stressed, no?
And thus the vertical approach:
Jesus gives a promise to all who believe in Him: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you”. Tied in to that, Paul reassures us that “in all things God works together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose”. And the message is just really simple: put God first, and the rest of your life will fall into place. The catch is that what you think might be good for you, is never necessarily that which God knows is definitely best for you. And why settle for good when you can have the best?
And those that put God first tend to seek to excel in all they do. When I use the word excel, I mean to give the best you can in whatever you do. You heard of that adage “God helps those who helps themselves”? That is the biggest lie ever. Well. Not biggest. But it’s a lie, portraying a pretty selfish God. The truth is that God helps those who seek His help. And the word seek does not just mean asking for help. Seek is an active word, which implies going out and doing your part, but relying on God for His strength and assistance.
That is the ‘secret’ to my success thus far. And if I was trying to find a universal method to deal with stress, who better to turn to than that which encompasses all, past, present and future? That even if one day I should fail, He loves me all the same reassures me that life will go on.
Thought I’d post something here I heard the other day.
In God we trust.
That’s quite a funny line, deviating from the topic slightly. Some may recognise it, especially Americans. Sadly, they gave that up a long time ago.
Well, that’s all from me.